I'm so proud of her
by the stargate time traveller
Summary: Gill's POV at the end of Series 4, and a couple of extra scenes.


**Scott & Bailey. **

**"I'm so proud of her."**

For Janet, the atmosphere inside the car was like the abortive funeral she'd attended with Rachel for Sharon Bailey. But where she'd gone to the funeral to provide support for her friends with her mother, who'd mellowed a little bit towards Rachel over the last few months, Janet felt nervous sitting behind the wheel of the car this time. It might've been a residual thing from that car chase during the fuck up of a case, but Janet would say it was more likely to be because this might be the last time she ever drove with Gill.

Her former DCI - hard to believe even if Janet had been waiting, and dreading it since Gill had announced it in the pub - was sitting next to her, and behind sitting in the back seat was Julie Dodson. All of them were out of their work clothes and into something more appropriate for a party. The feeling of this being more of a funeral than a retirement party was more pronounced. Janet knew it wasn't the end of the world, though, she knew she still had a future as a police officer, but somehow it felt as though her job had lost something.

Yeah, a voice in her mind said, Gill's leaving. But Janet knew her time in the police wouldn't be worth living without other people; the guys at the syndicate, but most especially Chris, her new boyfriend, and particularly Rachel. The thought of her best friend next to Gill had her smiling. Janet had been in the room watching Rachel question Evie Pritchard, the bitch who had clouded Gill's career with that rant about her stinking of booze. Janet, at Gill's request, had helped hone Rachel's interview skills, and she had witnessed and listened to her best friend take apart people less intelligent and just as manipulative than Evie. Janet had started when Evie had suddenly lunged to scream that she was tired of looking at Rachel, a surge of primal protectiveness startling her, but Rachel had sat there, cool as a cucumber.

Then Rachel had pulled out the piece de resistance; the fingerprints on the gun that had killed Desmond, then Evie had made her mistake; she'd admitted finally she had a gun. They'd nailed the bitch. Unknown to Janet, Julie was remembering the interview, the brilliantly cool way with just a hint of smug satisfaction that said "got you, you manipulative, evil bitch" had had her laughing mentally. True, Rachel had been a disappointment when they'd first met after she'd heard so many glowing things about her, a hungover woman slumped in a chair, but now...Now she was someone Julie could trust. Julie had spoken to Rachel after the DS had had Evie charged.

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"You've done well, Rachel," Julie had said, her eyes closely studying the young DS. Though there was pride in the younger woman's face in getting the case finished and solved, her eyes were troubled. Something Julie quickly picked up on. "What's wrong?" she asked in concern.

Rachel blinked, surprised by what Dodson had just said. "Sorry?" she asked.

"You look happy, but your eyes don't look it, what's wrong?" Julie repeated.

Rachel sighed; to Julie, it looked as though Rachel had lost a weight that had been on her shoulders. She looked Julie in the eye, and the older police woman was surprised by the hard, but wilting expression she saw. "I wanted to get this case finished, for Gill," Rachel said quietly, looking into the kind and concerned eyes of someone she looked up to in the same bracket as Gill and Janet, but out of the corner of Julie's eye, she noticed Pete standing and listening, but she didn't have time to say anything because Rachel was still talking, "I wanted to put that evil, disgusting, sly, manipulative, murdering bitch where she belonged. When you came to me, told me I was the SIO whilst you ran the investigation in name, I'd already decided to keep at the job 'cause it was expected of me. I was like "what would Gill do?" and I did it."

Julie and Pete listened to this monologue, keeping silent as they listened to this young woman speak. Pete remembered the take charge manner Rachel had demonstrated after Gill had called in sick, how she'd harshly made it clear that if anybody outside the syndicate asked about Gill's drinking, and they should lie, but what had stood out for him was how neatly she'd slotted in as head of the syndicate. Well, everyone knew Rachel wanted to become the head of her own syndicate, but Pete at that point hadn't been able to stop himself from thinking that maybe, that time had come. And no-one had a problem with it. Why should they? Rachel worked well with everyone despite her sometimes mad nature. Pete had been delighted to sit with her in the interview room, even if he wanted to smack Evie. She might've said verbally she was sick of looking at his and Rachel's faces, but they had been just as fed up with looking at her face.

Pete wondered if he should tell the others about this. He'd make his mind up later. For Julie, listening to Rachel say how she'd done it all and thought of Gill was one of the most heartwarming things she'd ever heard. In her career, Julie had witnessed many DS's do what Rachel had done, but they'd done it in their own way that inevitably screwed everything up, but the perfect way Rachel had done it in the Pritchard case, and the way she'd just said she'd asked herself what Gill would've done really warmed her heart.

Part of the DSI wondered if it would be better if they just promoted Rachel to DI, but she knew they wouldn't. The higher ups were aware of Rachel's inexperience blunder of not Risk Accessing the Pritchard property, and now she was under investigation. Honestly, Julie had no idea what the investigation would turn up, she just hoped nothing would come from it.

"I am glad to see the back of Evie, ma'am, but I just wish Gill hadn't had a drink 'cause of that magistrate," Rachel grimaced at the thought, not that Julie could blame her. Remington was well known as someone who bailed everyone; he seemed to have a vindictive pleasure of looking out and pointing out weaknesses in police investigations.

"I know," Julie said quietly.

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Julie looked at Gill, noting her best friend was too quiet, spoke up, "You know we haven't really spoken about what you're gonna do."

Gill snorted, "I know." She'd purposefully avoided thinking about retirement, what she would do, but since she'd announced it, she hadn't resisted the growing thoughts. She had found herself, believe it or not, looking forwards to the days where she could just lie in, take it easy without thinking about press conferences, visiting the mortuary where she'd watch someone like Scary Mary cut up a body, and drop arms, heads onto the slab with a thump.

"What're you going to do?" Julie persisted; Gill inwardly grimaced. Julie was a good friend, but she really knew how to be persistent. She might have accepted her impending retirement, but she would need to get used to the idea she was about to say goodbye to the job officially by going to this party.

"I have been in the police for 30 years," Gill whispered, "I always knew what to do, how to do it...I've been dreading the day I would have to announce my retirement, but now it feels like I've closed a book."

"Now you can open a new one," Janet glanced at Gill, the friend she'd known for 22 years, "we know you Gill, we know you've got something in mind. I just want you to know you're always welcome round my place."

Gill smiled, though inwardly she didn't want to spend much time with Dorothy. The woman's fixation on her was a bit weird. But she would get to see Elise and Taisie.

Then the words erupted from her mouth. "I'm so proud of you, of the team, but more importantly, I'm proud of her."

Janet was puzzled, then she realised what Gill was talking about. She was talking about Rachel, and she had a good reason to be proud of her. Janet was proud of the way her best friend had taken charge before Dodson had put her into official command.

Gill took it like a proud mother smiling down at a masterpiece of work her daughter had slaved long and hard to accomplish. Rachel Bailey had always been a pet project of Gill's because she had seen the potential the then DC had had.

"You're good," she had once said to Rachel, "one day you'll be very good."

Gill had always known, always believed that, she'd had faith. Whenever Rachel made a mistake - that mess with Dom, her mother, and worse Kevin and Sean - she had worried she wouldn't be able to forgive Rachel, and move on.

But now...

Julie had already visited her after dropping by the office to tell Rachel she was SIO. Gill's reaction had been surprise, but she'd listened as Julie told her about what she'd heard and seen from that corner before going to speak with the DS. Hearing how Rachel had stood, listened, observed, and handed out viewpoints like a good SIO would do, that had really convinced Gill about Rachel almost fulfilling her potential.

She still had a long way to go.

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"Hey, Janet," Gill said sometime later as she stood outside the pub, music blaring in behind her and in her ears, "any chance I can have a little word with Rachel?" She asked, nodding her head in Rachel's direction. She'd been so preoccupied with everyone in the party she hadn't even noticed the one person she'd wanted to speak to wasn't there until she'd caught sight of Janet heading out.

Janet looked between her best friends, noting the uncertainty in their stances, and smirked. God, these two were so alike it was scary. "Sure," she agreed before her smirk grew bigger and more mischievous, "just don't leave a bloody gory mess."

"Janet!" Both women shouted. Still laughing sarcastically, the blonde flounced back inside the pub.

"That woman," Gill muttered, shaking her head.

"Tell me about it," Rachel agreed, "anyway, boss - Shit, sorry," she flinched as she remembered Gill wasn't in the job anymore.

Gill waved a hand, though inwardly she felt her stomach clench at the knowledge she would never be called boss ever again. She would miss that title.

"It's okay, I'm still trying to get used to it myself," she tried to sound reassuring, but it didn't seem to come out right to her ears. But what upset her was how Rachel saw it as well, but she blessed the DS when she'd done her best to ignore it.

Rachel and Gill let a silence descend, then the younger woman spoke, "What did you want to see me about?"

Gill let out a breath, "I want to thank you."

The look of confusion had Gill roll her eyes and laugh at the same time. "Thank me? For what?" Rachel asked.

Gill sobered, "For putting that bitch behind bars."

"It was the least I could do," Rachel said, shrugging casually.

"It was my fault," Gill reminded her, and she started feeling angry at herself for that moment of weakness, "if I hadn't had a drink-" she stopped, her breath stilled. Rachel hesitantly, slowly, wrapped her long arms around Gill's more petite form. "Gill, if you ask me, once Dodson had been told you were drinking on duty, it was inevitable, and someone would've noticed the bottle on your desk, in the middle of the night."

Gill stiffened when she realised what Rachel was saying, and slowly she drew back though Rachel kept her in the hug. Their gaze was separated by a matter of centimeters. "How long have you known?" she whispered hoarsely.

"Since you told me you'd offered the sergeant's job to Janet. I saw the bottle on your desk, smelt it on your breath. I didn't say anything 'cause I didn't want to believe it." Rachel let her go and walked a little aways. "Another reason I didn't say a thing was 'cause since you were retiring, I had it in my mind that if I kept an eye on you then everything would be fine, but it didn't turn out that way." She looked down regretfully.

Gill frowned. She knew from the grapevine how other ambitious young officers sometimes betrayed their bosses over trivial matters of procedure, dereliction of duty, and all that jazz. A cold pit settled inside her stomach; was Rachel one of those officers, deep down?

Unfortunately, Rachel seemed to be reading her thoughts. "I would never have betrayed you Gill, you've given me too much, believed in me too much even if I didn't deserve it. I couldn't have betrayed you like that. Once, Andy Roper threatened me in the office when he was supposedly seeing Janet, he'd been acting like a pig the night before, and I told him if he thought I'd squeal to a senior officer then he didn't know me."

Rachel's dark eyes turned to face her, "Do you really think I'd betray you after everything you've done for me? No, I wouldn't, but I can see why you'd be frightened. I've heard stories of DS's and DI's who drop their friends in the deep end and watch them drown. So what're you going to do now you're retired, going to go after guys and girls?" The smirk on Rachel's face hinted at the joke.

Gill let out a muffled groan at the echo of Janet's joke, but the smile on her own face was obvious, "I don't know. I had hoped to do something productive, but when Evie Pritchard made that video rant 'bout me being drunk it closed the doors on my reputation as a copper."

Rachel lifted a brow, "You were planning on doing more detective work except watered down so you wouldn't have to make the kinda decisions you made as SIO?"

Ah, so Rachel had guessed the double meaning, Gill mused to herself. She saw no harm in confirming it. "Old habits die hard," she replied, "you know as well as I do some retired coppers use their skills to become private investigators."

"And with the kind of knowledge you have, you'd be brilliant," Rachel observed as she nodded. She could see how Gill would keep up her detective reputation by being a private investigator, but she wasn't sure if investigating mundane cases was what Gill really wanted. She couldn't help herself; once the thought materialised in her mind, she had to get it out.

"But I'd have thought mundane cases would've been boring for you?" She phrased it like a question, and Gill picked up on it.

"True, but when you consider the kind of cases I've been working on since I brought you into the syndicate-"

"Ah," Rachel interrupted brightly, "I see."

Gill shrugged, "Besides, I used my contacts to find a nice supply of cold cases."

Rachel grinned wickedly at Gill, whose expression matched hers. "Cold cases? That should be right up your street, bit like New Tricks."

Gill sobered, but there was a happy light in her eye. "True, but there is another reason I'd considered retirement for a long time before I actually made up my mind and announced it. Orla's pregnant. I want to be there for her. For Sammy."

Rachel's wicked grin had disappeared, though she was still smiling. "Congratulations! Granny Gill," she added, unable to resist.

Gill gaped at her, unknowing about the small audience they were getting, and smacked Rachel's arm. "You cheeky, outrageous-"

"Sorry, I couldn't resist," Rachel laughed, "I think it's brilliant, another generation of little Gills running around." Then she looked away.

"What?" Gill asked the question which was on the minds of their small audience - Pete, Sammy, Orla, Mitch, Mary, Julie, Janet, Chris, Lee, Roger Rutterford, Karen Zelinski and Dorothy. Rachel looked so solemn everyone thought she was about to say something meaningful and serious. They were wrong of course.

"You know Rachel is a good name for a girl-" Rachel had to backpedal quickly to avoid the new swats sent her way by a mock angry Gill. Everyone laughed. "Hey, stop hitting me. Ow!"

"No, no way am I gonna have a granddaughter named after you," Gill replied, though she wished she could suck the words back into her mouth, it sounded nasty out of her mind, and this woman was the closest thing she'd had to a second daughter, "actually, it does have a nice ring to it, Rachel Murray, but its Sammy and Orla's choice."

Sammy and Orla glanced at one another. Gill was right; it had a nice ring to it.

Rachel smiled, when Gill had said before rethinking what a granddaughter with her name she'd been hurt by the rejection even if it had been half a joke.

"I'm going to miss you," Gill suddenly said.

"Really? What are you going to miss? My charm, good looks, my brilliance?" Rachel raised her nose in a mock snooty way. Gill rolled her eyes and snorted. "I'm going to miss you in general, you silly cow."

"You know, if you need help with the cold cases I'll help you." Rachel offered.

Gill smiled gratefully. "I'll miss you too," Rachel said quietly, "I dunno what the next boss'll be like, but I will miss you and your scariness."

"Speaking of which I left a present and a letter on your desk," Gill said, "just do me a favor; succeed. I'm so proud of you. You solved the Evie Pritchard case."

"DSI Dodson was SIO-"

"In name," Gill reminded her sternly, then she softened, "you were the one to finally nail the bitch."

"Don't I know it," Rachel muttered wryly.

"Do you remember when I said you were good, that someday you'd be very good?" At Rachel's nod, Gill spared her a smile, "You still need a few more years, but I think you've got it right."

"Thanks," Rachel said, touched.

Gill rested a hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "Don't worry, Rachel, Godzilla will miss you."

Rachel choked, "I didn't think you knew-"

"'Course I did," Gill glared at her, "you really need to work on your detective skills, girl. But don't worry - when you reach the top, you'll develop a sixth sense. Anyway, keep what I say in the letter on your desk in mind. I won't spoil what it says, but it should keep your mind on the job. You've been on the ball for the past year since I made you my DS. I want you to be that way for the new boss."

Rachel flinched visibly. Everyone had a good idea why. "Rachel, this is a natural thing in the police. You move from one boss to another, I thought you knew that."

"I do, but you've been the greatest, and-"

Gill hugged her before Rachel could embarrass herself. "Hey, stop it. You're making me cry."

Rachel laughed before she sobered, she pulled back, "Do you know who's replacing you? I know a couple of applications have gone in, but I dunno anything definitely."

One of the reasons Gill had spent so long making up her mind about retirement was 'who is going to take over the reigns of syndicate 9?' It was a law of the jungle, you spend a long time getting something the way you want it, but when you leave and it's taken over by something else then it might lose its quality.

Gill had seen it many times over the years, senior coppers making a good thing of their job before retirement, and their replacements either making it better the way they want, or they might tear down the reputation of the unit the original SIO had worked long hours setting up. It was one of the things she'd been dreading since she rose to become a DCI. Now it was more pronounced with Rachel's question.

"I don't know," she replied honestly, "just do me a favor, whoever it is they're going to have to fit in with the syndicate. They might put up the pretense they're tough, but trust me Rachel, they're going to be as nervous as hell, wondering who's who in the office. Just be as helpful and welcoming as you can, do that for me please."

Rachel looked down at her feet, "Okay."

Gill smiled and she wrapped Rachel in a crushing hug. Rachel choked since Gill had wrapped her neck and pulled her head down into a python embrace. "Er, you don't want to suffocate me do you?"

Gill snickered and then pulled back.

"Do you, er, wanna go back inside? Get a last drink?" Rachel asked hesitantly.

Gill smiled, "Sure."

They both turned to head back inside, and then they came across the audience. Both Gill and Rachel stared there, blinking in astonishment for not noticing the crowd, then Rachel's eyes narrowed.

Gill spotted the same thing; Janet was grinning like the cat who'd drunken all the cream, and didn't give a toss who noticed. Then the stalemate came to an end.

"Don't you people have a party to get to?" Rachel asked, unknowingly channeling Gill. Muttering apologies everyone got back inside, including the senior officers.

Gill shook her head.

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"You all heard how my best friend Janet met Gill, but I first met her on a case. I was standing freezing my arse off when this car pulled up, and this woman who reminded me of a bird stepped out," Rachel's voice, magnified by the mike, echoed throughout the room, "she had nails as long as stalks, and as red as blood. Trust me, I know, she shoved them into my face."

"I did not!"

Rachel smirked, "She tried to pass me by like I wasn't there, I stopped her and asked for ID. She scared me to death when she told me who she was, but I wouldn't let her by. It was funny watching her throw her arms up and wave them around as she went back to her car for her warrant card, here I thought coppers were meant to have their cards on them at all times. Naughty, naughty!"

Everyone chuckled, Gill just called out, "Rachel-"

"She shoved it into my face, and I did say bird didn't I? I'm only asking 'cause it was like a Velociraptor out of Jurassic Park was glaring at me. After that, she asked me who my supervisor was, and I was pissing myself 'cause I thought she was going to report me. Later she invited me into her syndicate. Anyhow, after the last few years I've been exposed to the mad whirlwind that is Gill Murray, being summoned to her office where I've felt like a misbehaving school girl. Godzilla really shone through in her eyes."

Rachel chuckled and shrugged her shoulders, "But despite my slip-ups," everyone chuckled at the understatement, particularly those who worked in the syndicate, "Godzilla was always there for me, though she had a way of glaring at me, oh there she goes now," everyone saw the way Gill was beadily eying Rachel, "as I was saying, she had a way of glaring at me that made me feel like I was a speck of nothing. Now she's out in the world, pity the world and everyone living in it now Gill Murray is out. God help any unwary paper boy or girl who delivers the evening paper who's a minute late."

Gill giggled when everyone laughed, easily picturing her giving them the fright of their life. "And god help any traffic copper who crosses her path, I can picture it now, they stop her and ask her for her license and they meet her glare and run off!"

This time everyone laughed at the image of a traffic cop running for his life entered their minds.

"But," everyone settled down at the suddenly more serious tone in Rachel's voice, "I have been in this job 14 years, and I'm proud to be a Detective Sergeant, Gill's last Detective Sergeant. I'm just sorry Gill's leaving, and I know this is supposed to be a happy time, but I don't think I'm gonna be the only one sad to see her leaving." She sniffled at the end, but she wasn't the only one.

Gill bit her lip to stop herself from bursting out into tears.

"As DS, I know I'm expected to say a few fond farewells, but have you considered," Rachel got off the stage and headed towards Gill, mike cable trailing behind her, "what you were doing to me?! Sure, you'll be happy, terrorising innocent passers by, spoiling grandkids, but we'll be stuck with all the work."

Everyone snickered.

"We'll have to get used to a new boss, a new way of doing things whilst you're enjoying your freedom. Janet says god help any weeds, she should have said god help US for having to deal with change."

Everyone muttered and nodded in agreement.

"Don't worry," Rachel said to Gill, "I'm not trying to get you to change your mind... Actually," she opened her eyes wide and pouted. Gill shook her head at the puppy dog eyes. "No," she said firmly.

"Poo," Rachel pouted like a small child and shuffled her feet for good measure, "okay then." Then she became more serious. "I hope you're happy with that you plan to do with yourself, just stay in touch, yeah?"

Gill bit her lip.

Rachel turned to Sammy and Orla, and grinned mischievously.

"Rachel, what're you doing?" Gill asked when she saw the glint in the younger woman's eye. She'd seen it so many times before.

"Sammy, Orla," she said, putting an arm around their shoulders, "she's all yours. Good luck!"

Sammy shook his head, but grinned, then his smile faded. "What do you mean?"

Rachel smiled mysteriously, and walked back to the stage. "Gill, I want to thank you for everything you've ever done for me. I know there were times you wanted to throttle me," she smirked when everyone chuckled, those in the syndicate especially as they recalled those moments where it looked like Gill WOULD try and murder Rachel before deciding whether or not it was justifiable, "but you were always there."

Rachel went solemn, and when she spoke everyone's heartstrings were tugged. "Though I hadn't had much to do with her when I made the mistake of getting back in touch with her, you were the person my mother never was."

Though she'd always known Rachel had viewed Gill as a mother figure before, Janet had never actually heard her verbally admit it until now. Gill's own eyes were wide.

Uncaring about what the others thought since she only had eyes for Gill, Rachel kept speaking, "You were more supportive, more caring than my mum, and you never walked away from me. I don't know how to put this, but I will miss you for that."

Gill sniffled, and in the background, she could hear other people sniffing as well.

Rachel sniffled herself, the sound magnified by the mike. She suddenly looked sheepish, then she handed the mike over to Pete. She disappeared to the bar, and sat there shakily, looking mortified. She couldn't believe she'd just said that, but she couldn't do anything about it now. Oh god! She closed her eyes and buried her head in her hands. She had just said in front of everyone Gill Murray had been like a mother to her, and she was right, especially since that reunion with Sharon.

God, what a disaster that had been, but it had given Rachel the opportunity to compare the two women, and she'd found her real mother to be wanting and the way she said her own daughter was a failure... Rachel would take Gill any day of the week over Sharon.

"It's funny," Janet's voice broke through her thoughts, and Rachel turned to see Janet had walked over to her whilst all around them everyone was still partying, but Rachel's keen eyes picked out one or two glancing at her. "I always knew you saw her as a mother figure, and she did too, but I never expected you to admit it."

"Tell me about it," Rachel murmured over the din, "but I had to get it off my chest. How's she taking it?"

Janet grinned and turned her head. Rachel followed her gaze, and they had to hold back a laugh when they saw that Gill was talking to her son and daughter in law.

**Six months later. **

Rachel smiled as she climbed out of her car, well tried since the baby bump was giving her some problem with moving. Four months along, Rachel was looking forwards to giving birth to a baby girl. Orla, now nearing the end of her pregnancy, was even bigger than her.

She knocked on the door and Sammy opened it. "Hey, Rachel," he greeted.

"Hi, Sammy," she grinned back, wiping her feet before walking into the house. "How's Orla?" she asked.

"Driving me mad," he replied. "How 'bout you? How's everyone at the office?"

Despite having Janet as a godmother, it was still good to have a bit more information about his mother's old syndicate, especially since Janet was now busy with her new boyfriend, Chris.

"The new boss has finally settled in, more or less," Rachel let Sammy take her coat and handbag, and slowly she walked to the kitchen where Orla and Gill were busy cooking.

"Hi, kid," Gill called when she caught sight of Rachel, "how was your day?"

"Not too bad, just finished a case. Hi Orla." The two women hugged each other as best they could, Gill chuckled at the pair of them when their baby bumps stopped them from really hugging each other. The best they were able to do was hug each other from the side.

"How's the new boss?" Gill asked.

"Settling in nicely."

"Have you been eating and resting okay?" Gill asked.

Rachel chuckled. Yep, Sharon Bailey might've been her biological mother, but Gill Murray was her real mother. Here she was asking her if she was okay, whether or not she was eating properly. That was what a mother was, and hell, she had enough of it from Janet and Alison.

"I'm okay," she replied, "mum."

**Please tell me what you think. **


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